On "Resistance"

Updated: Aug 16, 2020

I have an observation. But before I even get to it, let me say this: Observations aren't indictments. Observations are neutral assessments that help us evaluate processes and situations.  It's an incredible practice, as as long as there is no judgement and trust me, there is no judgment here.  What there is, though, is an assessment and measure as to whether what is being observed is effective or supportive. As a performance consultant it's my job to spot patterns of behavior, belief and being that either contribute to or derail stellar results. My specific mission, though, is helping you be audacious, become legendary and see more total life prosperity in the process.   To be audacious and become LEGENDARY, you have to pay attention to and release the patterns of belief, being and behavior that aren't serving you. Because, let's be honest, you have things you want to have, create, shift, build and That means releasing anything that has you giving your power away and that tells you that you aren't enough or capable.  If it's not serving you, it's potentially sabotaging you and stopping you from moving forward and getting what is yours.  Which leads me to my observations about resistance. You probably already know that I don't love waxing poetic about things that aren't productive.  I loathe spin, because spin seeks to turn a "negative" into a positive, when the truth is, some shit is just trash that needs to be taken out.  If you spent time with me in GENESIS you know that rage is one of those things. "Resistance" is another. Every time I hear the word now, I'm tempted to roll my eyes because people toss it around and act like it's a valid reason to stop moving forward.  It's the nouveaux word for the self aware.  It's understandable...and it still doesn't get to run the show.   "Resistance" is a part of normal, everyday life.  Sometimes we feel resistance because something truly isn't right. When we are in tune with intuition, we know that something is off.  When it's that kind of "resistance:, which is actually a warning - I trust it.  In those situations, I don't call it resistance.  I call it knowing. Other times, "resistance" is just trauma, triggers and bad programming whispering in your ear, yelling at you (take your pick) telling you that what you want isn't possible or your dreams and ideas won't possibly work. I want to talk about THAT  resistance. That's the one that people try to justify or spin into reasons for staying stuck or not moving forward. The thing is - I hate to even call it resistance, because like I've said before - I'm not convinced that it's true resistance as much as it is old programing and embedded beliefs that you find yourself bumping up against every time you get ready to level up. As much as we love to wax poetic about it or excuse it, that second kind of resistance is usually a form of fear and it will keep you stuck and circling the same problems...sometimes for years.  Ask me how I know. That's why I'm not spending a whole lot of time camping out with fear and resistance anymore...I'm about moving through fear resistance.  So like anything else, that means facing it, feeling it, and telling myself the truth about it so I can be done with it. Denying,  bypassing or spinning feelings doesn't diffuse them or turn them into facts.  They only delay and keep you from dealing with them, and by extension, delaying your progress.  You'll stay stuck in bad relationships and jobs.  You'll talk yourself out of starting your business or moving to the city of your dreams.  You'll wait year after year after year to start the thing you dream of while you watch others move forward and rock their goals and live their best lives.   Fear will make you resist the life you long for and the things that move you forward.  That's I want you to stop waxing poetic about resistance and start moving through it.    When I stopped resisting things that are there to help me succeed - and actually risked doing them even if I was unsure, afraid - sometimes barely  moving one foot in front of the other and taking DEEP breaths in between - I started getting EXACTLY what I wanted - consistently, including more spaciousness in my life, better relationships, more money, more peace, and a lot more joy. We all want that, yeah?  So how can YOU move through resistance?  I'm glad you asked. When you're  tempted to believe things can't, won't or don't work in your life or business or when you're facing resistance - here are some questions to ask and answer honestly to help you move forward. What are you actually resisting? Are you resisting your dreams or the unfamiliar and unknown - or are you resisting believing that you deserve and can have the life and success you want?  I know which things I believe you need to be resisting, for sure. The truth is, your dreams are possible.  You may have to get used to the idea and the idea of having them.  It's time for your new life.  Get ready.   Are you actually doing the work or are you resisting and doubting that you can TRULY ditch the hustle, succeed as yourself and have what you want? Resistance takes up a lot of energy- so it will make you TIRED.  Sometimes you can tell yourself that you are "doing the work" when you're actually over analyzing or worrying about whether or not you can have what you want.  Let's skip to the good part: You can. How unconsciously attached to drama, struggle and suffering are you, really? Again...observation, not indictment.  A lot of us were sold ease as evil and struggle as strength and virtue. When that happens, you can become mired in or  acquiesced to the belief that struggle and pain are the path to success. You can be conformed to toxic culture for so long that you unconsciously give up hope of life and business being anything other than a grind that requires you to put yourself  and everything you love last for the sake of "success".  Here's the truth - you don't. You can get attached to ease.  It will take some adjustment but it is TOTALLY worth it.   And it will take some getting used to.   When you've been trapped in a life of struggle, freedom and ease feel foreign. When freedom feels foreign, you will reject solutions, work and strategies that bring you ease. When that happens, you need to feel the fear and do it anyway.  I see it in my spaces all the time. I call it “a tale of two people”.  Two people come to the work. One trusts the work, does the work and moves through doubt. The other is stuck in resistance.  Instead of doing the work,  they tell me all the reasons that the work won't work, or why they or their situation is so special or unique. The one who does the work, got amazing results. The one who listened to resistance got results too...just not the ones they wanted.  Here is the real deal: the work works if you work it. So the big question is:  are you willing to move through resistance so it can stop defining the trajectory of your life? Audacious living and being legendary means shifting out of old ways of being and believing. It is counter cultural by default. It means embracing both/and living and moving towards your dreams.  It means letting go of what doesn't serve you and to be clear - resistance isn't serving you. Resistance should be reserved for the things that are trying to kill you, not the things that help you thrive. Get clear on which is which. So if you've been letting resistance justify not making the changes you need to make or taking the action you need to take - this is your invitation to let it go. Fear and resistance are normal and human.  That doesn't mean they have to run your life. If you're ready to stop letting resistance stop you and be in community with some other radical visionaries and get coaching on how to get free from the life you don't want and start living the life that you DO, the doors to LEGENDARY  are open.  Everyone who joins before August 30th gets to come to a Virtual Happy Hour and  "pick Staci's brain" session where you can get coaching on what you need most right now.  Join us.

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